What to do when one spouse needs assisted living? Deciding to move into a senior care facility can be a difficult and emotional decision for one spouse. This not only affects the quality of life of the spouse who needs care, but also the other spouse. In this article, we explore the challenges and considerations when Spouses need different levels of care.
In the article retirement home vs assisted living, we compared retirement home and assisted living to see which one is the best choice? In this article from humanhealthmag, we want to discuss the signs and symptoms that may indicate that one spouse needs extra care
What Is Assisted Living?
Before we explain what to do when one spouse needs assisted living? It is better to see first what is assisted living?
Assisted living is a type of long-term care that allow an elderly or disabled person to continue living independently, even with chronic health conditions. These services and personalized care are provided in a residential setting such as an apartment or complex and are mostly for the elderly or those who need care in doing their daily tasks. In these places, in addition to having residential units similar to apartments, support and care services are also provided. These services can include the following:
- Activities of daily living (ADL) such as bathing, dressing, walking, bed transfer, toileting, etc
- Cleaning and arranging the residential unit
- Washing clothes
- Preparing meals
- Transportation
- Housekeeping
- Laundry and transportation services
- Primary medical services and managing medications
- Social and recreational programs and activities
What to Do When One Spouse Needs Assisted Living?
Many seniors require care due to loss of physical ability or mental problems, including Alzheimer’s. In many cases, when one spouse needs assisted living, independent couple who is healthier takes on the role of caregiver. But taking care of the elderly at home is a bit challenging for the other couple or their children who are working and do not have the physical ability to take care of the elderly.
Aging is a fact of life that happens to all human beings. If your elderly parents are still in good health and living independently, it is better not to be unnecessarily sensitive and make changes in their lives. But if the elderly is not able to take care of himself/herself or needs help, you should take care of him/her. If you feel that you cannot provide the necessary care to your elderly loved one due to busy work and taking care of other family members, including children, or any other reason, it is time to use assisted living.
A general decrease in physical and mental vitality may lead to visible and even drastic changes in your parent’s appearance, standard of living, and emotional well-being. The more you are aware of how aging can affect them, the easier and better you can take care of the elderly.
I can’t take care of my dad anymore, what should I do? If you have decided to take care of your dear elderly parents at home instead of moving them to a nursing home, it is better to familiarize yourself with the tips of caring for the elderly at home. Or, if needed, seek to hire an elderly nurse to take care of him/her.
16 Tips on Caring for Elderly Parents at Home
1- Make the home environment safe for the elderly.
Make changes to avoid some problems. For example:
- Keep the path that your loved one travels through in the dark clear so that there is no problem.
- Remove extra household items that prevent them from moving freely.
- Place bars in the bathroom and toilet for easy movement. These bars are mandatory to prevent elderly people from falling.
- Put a layer of plastic on the slippery parts of the house to prevent them from slipping.
- Collect cables and wires in the house, this will prevent them from slipping and falling.
- Use carbon monoxide detectors, as adults are sensitive to low levels of this gas.
- Install a temperature sensor for the bathroom or faucet to protect your elderly loved one from getting burned.
2- Find out about the condition of the elderly at home
If an elderly person wants to live alone, you can use electronic devices to care for the elderly. But remember that the microphone or camera destroys the privacy of the elderly. If the condition of the elderly is not serious, it is better to use video calls to check on them.
3- Visit them regularly
Children of elderly people can check the security status, quality of life and health of their elderly loved ones if they meet regularly. In these meetings:
- Look for changes
- Is the house a mess?
- Are the clothes washed?
- Are the pots watered?
- Look carefully to see if there are any bruises on your elderly body caused by being hit on the ground.
- Is there an unopened letter in the mailbox? Have the bills been paid?
Ask your parents’ neighbors about their condition during the day and, if possible, ask a trusted person nearby to visit your elderly.
4- Promote exercise and walking in older adults
The elderly need physical activity. Exercise protects the elderly from diseases. Doing easy exercises such as walking and gentle yoga is a must for taking care of the elderly.
5- Take the timely use of medications seriously in the elderly
Prepare a medication schedule for the elderly so that they take their medications on time. Failure to take medicine on time causes problems such as poor vision, memory problems, and drug use in the elderly.
6- Be careful of elderly people driving
We know that driving can be difficult for someone as they get older. In elderly people, reactions are slow, the body becomes stiff and the eyes become weak. So, the best course of action is to talk to them about your concerns and your interest in their health or ban them from driving.
7- Watch out for scams
Many single seniors are at risk of fraud. These scams include: investing in mobile phones, how to use bank cards and many other scams. Don’t forget to check their bank cards, accounts, and payments together constantly.
8- Be frank about financial problems with older people
If your seniors are financially dependent on you, have an open discussion. Be comfortable with them and always give honest answers to your elderly loved one. If you feel they are in financial need, tell them how much you can help them financially.
9- Accompany them in carrying out administrative work
Note that it is better to do the administrative affairs for them personally or to be with them. If you have several children, prepare a power of attorney with the permission of other children so that one of them can take this responsibility. If you have multiple siblings, prepare a power of attorney with the permission of the other children and one of you will take over these responsibilities.
10- Invite the elderly to do group activities and participate in gatherings
The relationship of the elderly with the world around them should not be interrupted. Some elderly people who think that life ends with old age prefer to stay at home and alone. This decision over time causes unhappiness, depression and other diseases. Try to invite them to gatherings as much as possible. Elderly people who live alone need to maintain social relationships. Group activities such as group walks, group games, shopping or talking are beneficial for the elderly.
11- Love the elderly and pay attention to their mental condition
In addition to all the tips mentioned in this article on what to do when one spouse needs assisted living, you can love your elderly parents or loved ones and be there for them all the time. Caring for the elderly does not only include taking care of their physical condition, but mental health can be just as important.
12- Beware of the physical limitations of old age
Remember that hearing, vision, touch, and other senses may not work as well as they used to or may decline with age. Talk to them a little louder. Elderly people are also more sensitive to pain and touch.
13- Know the problems and hardships of old age
Be more sensitive and alert to problems in their lives, especially if you notice that they are starting to lose memory or bodily functions. These problems in themselves are annoying and uncomfortable. So, understand them and treat them with kindness.
14- Avoid inappropriate speech and behavior.
The inappropriate behavior of some children bothers the elderly and may make them think for a long time. So be very cautious when dealing with them.
15- Speak respectfully
At this age, the elderly suffer a lot and sometimes they may become ill-mannered or impatient. In this case, remember that pain and suffering caused these behaviors and still respecting the elderly should be your first goal. Talking respectfully to the elderly makes them happy and increases their self-esteem.
16- Give suggestions, not orders
When you want to advise seniors to be with other seniors or to go out, attend classes or courses if they can afford it, these tips should be given to seniors as suggestions, not in the form of an order that will annoy them. Experience shows that giving orders to the elderly can lead to depression and frustration. It even makes them resistant and defensive to show you the previous situation or go back to it, although they are not able to do this, and this problem makes them more desperate and more helpless.
16- If needed, hire a nurse to help care for the elderly
In some cases, children cannot stay with the elderly for a long time. If necessary, take care of the elder of the family in shifts and divide the tasks. If the possibility or ability to care for any family member is not possible, then you can hire a nurse for your elderly. Pet therapy also can be a very good option for the elderly. But which is the best pet for senior woman or an elderly man?
When One Spouse Needs Assisted Living? Elderly Care and Maintenance Services at Home
The goal of most families in hiring a caregiver for the elderly is that their elderly loved one has a companion and conversation partner; But the services provided by the nurse to care for the elderly at home are much wider and are different according to the needs of you and your elderly. If we want to take a general look at elderly care services, we can mention the following:
- Creating a calm and safe environment for caring for the elderly
- Help with mobility and prevention of bedsores
- Attention to the correct and timely use of prescribed drugs
- Attention to the diet and healthy lifestyle of the elderly
- Providing nursing services for the elderly in wheelchair
- Help in daily and personal activities (changing clothes, washing clothes, bathing and other daily tasks)
- Sleep time setting
- Control of blood pressure, blood sugar and vital signs of the elderly
- Change of catheter, dressing and suture
- conversation
If your senior has special conditions and has lost physical and cognitive abilities due to Alzheimer’s disease, dementia, brain tumors or stroke, you should hire a caregiver. Are you aware from the positive effects of free short stories for dementia patients? Hiring a round-the-clock nurse for the elderly at home not only increases their safety and quality of life, but also helps you to achieve your personal tasks.
No matter how much the elderly are in the worst physical and mental conditions, they still like to stay at home. The presence of a round-the-clock nurse at home not only has a positive effect on the recovery process of your elderly, but also keeps him safe from other contagious and infectious diseases that exist in crowded environments.
When One Spouse Needs Assisted Living? Is Nursing Home Suitable for Caring for the Elderly?
When you decide to send your elderly parents to a nursing home, you face a lot of negative reactions! Why don’t you keep them at home? Why don’t you use elderly home care services? and etc. These reactions and blames increase your stress and mental pressure, but on the other hand, you are not able to take care of your elderly, what is the best thing to do in this situation? In your opinion, can a bedridden person be left alone? Should you leave your elderly parents at home alone? To find answers to these questions, consider the pros and cons of nursing homes so that you can make the best decision for your parents.
Advantages of Nursing Home
If your elderly is suffering from a certain disease and you don’t have the conditions to care for him in your home, a nursing home can be a suitable option for you. In the nursing home, your elderly will be cared for around the clock by several caregivers and doctors.
Disadvantages of Nursing Home
The nursing home is always the first option that comes to our mind, but sometimes it is better to put ourselves in the place of our parents and see if we would like to go to these centers in our old age and be away from our children?
Here are some tips to help you decide
- Talk to your spouse about your concerns: It is important to be honest with each other about your needs and concerns.
- Do your research: Research nursing home care options in your area and visit different facilities.
- Talk to your doctor: Your doctor can help you assess your partner’s care needs and make recommendations about the best care options.
- Get help from a counselor: A counselor can help you and your spouse process your feelings about moving into a senior care facility and make the best decision for you and your family.
Concluding Remarks
What to do when one spouse needs assisted living? It has been said since ancient times that nowhere is a person’s home. If there are conditions for caring for the elderly at home, but you do not have enough time to care for them, you can use assisted living services for the elderly.
Even if you need to hire a nurse to take care of the elderly at home, it is still more economical from an economic point of view, because nowadays the costs of caring for the elderly in medical centers are very high and most families cannot afford it.
The most important reason for keeping the elderly at home is to preserve their independence. The fear of losing independence among them is even greater than the fear of death, so caring for the elderly at home gives them this sense of independence. Assisted living at home allows elderly people to maintain their relationship with friends and acquaintances. It also helps keep them fresh and busy, giving them a chance to fight Alzheimer’s to some extent.
FAQs
What are the signs that one spouse needs assisted living?
- Difficulty performing daily activities such as dressing, bathing, eating, driving, or doing housework
- Disorientation or confusion, such as getting lost in your home or neighborhood, forgetting appointments or events, or having trouble understanding time or place
- Mood or behavioral changes such as irritability, depression, anxiety, hallucinations or paranoia
- Needing more help with personal care such as needing help with bathing, dressing, eating or using the toilet
- Risk of injury to self or others
What are the benefits of moving into a senior care facility?
- 24/7 care by qualified professionals
- Access to social activities and services
- Reducing the burden of care on the other spouse
What are the disadvantages of moving into a senior care facility?
- Cost
- Separation from spouse
- Adaptation to the new environment